I’ve just celebrated my 34th birthday. Leading up to the date, I had to work out several times whether I was turning 33, 34, or 35, because birthdays have lost their countdown appeal as I’ve aged, and I can’t keep on top of which year I’m celebrating anymore.
This really resonated today. I'm only in my late twenties and already starting to note the differences between myself and my peers. Autoimmune & other chronic illnesses have taken a toll on my appearance, and the feminist in me hates that I care. I was certain I wouldn't allow society to condition me to resent aging, but here I am, stressing about my neck *sigh*. Great piece, Lauren :)
You are young, my friend just older than you were — don’t mourn about how you look; in years to come you will look back and see your beauty. People want to see photos of others — my advice is not to stop all photo’s being shared within family & friends (except the odd really gross one maybe). I know a lady who avoids being in photos completely but I think one day she might regret this and others may too.
A sign you are young you used the Gavin & Stacey-esc “Lush"-I'm 21 years older than you and I use the word 'lovely” or “great” but then I think I always have. I to feel in the ‘not old, not young’ category. Eleven lines eh? I looked in the mirror and was not sure where to count the lines, not too many I thought, then I smiled-they were joined by many more, every facial expression change the number on view. But that’s character I thought, I wouldn’t want to be plastic faced baby-doll without expression. This face with lines, and grey hair coming through is loved and makes my granddaughter so excited when we Face Time. This face shows life, my hands look lived in and fairly worn out. This reminds me of the Velveteen Rabbit story which I first heard on the day of our wedding - The pastor a great friend of our told it and ended with something like you are truly real when your hair’s been loved off and you are a bit shabby due to a life feel of hugs.
In your Lush day was silence and alone times, reading etc — these are special because they are rare for you - Thank God for that! The noise, the hustle & bustle of life are your norm — enjoy it while it lasts! These times will pass and you will look back and see all that you did while you were young with a young family. You mention the women you know who have aged with dignity, I bet even they died their hair different colours at times and tummy trimming knickers to enhance their looks. We love these women and they have probably not considered dignity just gave in to natural inevitability of time showing on them and did the best with what they have. i don’t know if i want to grow old with dignity or disgrace — their is an bit of me wants to shock others with my waywardness but i’m not sure whether my MS will give me the choice! — i could have a luminous wheel-chair and play rock ’n’roll songs loudly where ever i go.
Thank you for your writing and how it encourages me to consider things xx
Thanks for writing this. Patriarchy breathes the message of our value as desirability to men right from infancy doesn’t it. And that there’s a shelf life to this desirability. And ageism pushes this message deeper into our bones. I love it when women are celebrated for the fierce worth we hold that is waaaay deeper than what patriarchy values. But living the barriers to this every day is tough.
This really resonated today. I'm only in my late twenties and already starting to note the differences between myself and my peers. Autoimmune & other chronic illnesses have taken a toll on my appearance, and the feminist in me hates that I care. I was certain I wouldn't allow society to condition me to resent aging, but here I am, stressing about my neck *sigh*. Great piece, Lauren :)
Thick hair and 111 lines
You are young, my friend just older than you were — don’t mourn about how you look; in years to come you will look back and see your beauty. People want to see photos of others — my advice is not to stop all photo’s being shared within family & friends (except the odd really gross one maybe). I know a lady who avoids being in photos completely but I think one day she might regret this and others may too.
A sign you are young you used the Gavin & Stacey-esc “Lush"-I'm 21 years older than you and I use the word 'lovely” or “great” but then I think I always have. I to feel in the ‘not old, not young’ category. Eleven lines eh? I looked in the mirror and was not sure where to count the lines, not too many I thought, then I smiled-they were joined by many more, every facial expression change the number on view. But that’s character I thought, I wouldn’t want to be plastic faced baby-doll without expression. This face with lines, and grey hair coming through is loved and makes my granddaughter so excited when we Face Time. This face shows life, my hands look lived in and fairly worn out. This reminds me of the Velveteen Rabbit story which I first heard on the day of our wedding - The pastor a great friend of our told it and ended with something like you are truly real when your hair’s been loved off and you are a bit shabby due to a life feel of hugs.
In your Lush day was silence and alone times, reading etc — these are special because they are rare for you - Thank God for that! The noise, the hustle & bustle of life are your norm — enjoy it while it lasts! These times will pass and you will look back and see all that you did while you were young with a young family. You mention the women you know who have aged with dignity, I bet even they died their hair different colours at times and tummy trimming knickers to enhance their looks. We love these women and they have probably not considered dignity just gave in to natural inevitability of time showing on them and did the best with what they have. i don’t know if i want to grow old with dignity or disgrace — their is an bit of me wants to shock others with my waywardness but i’m not sure whether my MS will give me the choice! — i could have a luminous wheel-chair and play rock ’n’roll songs loudly where ever i go.
Thank you for your writing and how it encourages me to consider things xx
Thanks for writing this. Patriarchy breathes the message of our value as desirability to men right from infancy doesn’t it. And that there’s a shelf life to this desirability. And ageism pushes this message deeper into our bones. I love it when women are celebrated for the fierce worth we hold that is waaaay deeper than what patriarchy values. But living the barriers to this every day is tough.