on: Letter from Margaret
I am completely obsessed with gleaning as much as I can from men and women that are far older than me. My Maw-Maw (pronounced mol-mol) Crosby held all my affection. She lived in Oak Grove, Louisiana - half a mile away from any neighbours. Cotton fields surrounded her one-story home and pecan trees and wagon wheels welcomed you to enter. Our exciting outing when we visited was the local Pizza Hut for limitless pizza. But most of our time was spent drinking Maxwell House coffee, watching birds, eating pecan pie, and catching up on soap operas. I wish I could close my eyes and go back into her blue Cadillac. Hours upon hours were full of her recounting stories of her past. I learned what it was to be a gentle, yet tough woman, from her.
All that to say, I still love sitting at the table with people that are older than myself. Margaret is one of those people. With all her sharpness, rises a sweetness. She is a gift to our family. I asked her to write me a letter with her achievements, failures, and advice. I have transcribed it below. Hope you enjoy her words as much as I did.
Dear Lauren,
My first major achievement was my recovery, at eleven, from bacterial meningitis. The year was 1945, and the month, November. I was not expected to live. This was before penicillin and antibiotics had come into being. For six months, I was a patient in the local isolation hospital – no visitors – my mother could wave to me from behind the glass in the doo. I came out of hospital in April and my proudest moment was venturing to grammar school in the September even though I had missed a year’s education/ I was allowed to join my classmates in Form 2.
My next proud moment was gaining a place in Cardiff University in 1953, which enabled me to have the opportunity to teach – something I always wanted to do. Without further education, the jobs in the 1950s were very limited for girls – shops or factories being the options. When my four years were over, I was going away to London for my first interview for my first job, and I got it.
I’m very grateful that the local authority paid for my university education and for that I am eternally grateful as my mother was widowed when I was five, and could not have afforded for me to go.
Another important achievement for me has been my long and happy marriage to my partner of sixty years. We met whilst in school but did not marry until I was twenty-six. We have enjoyed our lives together and are grateful we have shared so many years.
I can’t honestly say I have had any failures in my life. All I set out to do I managed to accomplish but I can see failures ahead of me as I grow older, such as the failure to hear as well as I used to, and the failure to walk as I would like to. These things sadden me, but they are inevitable.
The on thing I would like to have changed in my life is not losing my father at the age of five. He fought in World War 1, and died at thirty-nine as a result of what he went through in war. I’d like to have had his advice on many occasions and have had him at my wedding. Because I was so young when he died, I have very few memories of him, which has always saddened me and my mother spoke very little of him. I don’t know why, but maybe I should have asked more. I regret that.
Throughout my life, my greatest friends have been books. I have never stopped reading and my house if full of books. I have always encouraged my pupils and friends to read and the latter all come when they want a good book. I also enjoyed needlework when my fingers weren’t so stiff and I embroidered lots of presents for my colleagues when they retired. I found the process relaxing.
And nuggets of advice worth passing on all are the result of thirty plus years teaching experience in secondary education. They can, however, be of use in the adult world. I have found that too much criticism encouraged children to condemn others. Encouragement, on the other hand, gives children confidence. Praising children teaches them to appreciate and showing them approval makes them take pride in themselves. I also found that children who are surrounded by hostility at home or school, quickly learn how to fight back and surely, we are all seeing this in our world today.
Margaret.